Ursula
by Lord Dionysus
Summary: Artie had always despised Ursula McAlister  Mickinley High schools newspaper gossip columnist  and she always despised him. But somethings changing and somethings growing could it be...love please review
1. Nemesis

Artie missed having Brittany as a girl friend and he realized asking Sugar out was a mistake. He felt lonely and wanted someone to be with. He rolled into the newspaper room getting ready for the meeting.

"I have breaking news!" A voice called.

"God no. Anything but her." Artie begged. Ursula McAlister came into the room. She was like a mixture of Zooey Deschanel and Rita Skeeter from Harry potter. Physically, Her hair was black and went down to her shoulder blades. Her eyes were blue and she framed them with sixties style glasses incrusted with rhinestones, red plump lips and her wardrobe was of an eccentric nature. She was undeniably beautiful but her personality and other activates were not the most attractive. This girl was the school papers gossip columnist and had the most outrages stories. Ursula also had the knack of being abrasive and crude worse then Rachel, which was saying something.

"Breaking news Coach Beast has a tale" Everybody including Artie starred at her.

"Ursula do you have facts to back this up." Robby Vincent head of the newspaper sighed. Ursula just starred at everyone for several moments.

"Still working on that." she muttered. Jacob Israel ran into the room gasping for breath.

"Heres' your butterscotch…. soy latte with extra whip ."Jacob had always been Ursula's assistant and when he was good or wasnt in the dumpster she let him write on his blog.

"Took you long enough Jacob. What do I pay you for?" Ursula asked in an annoyed tone as she pulled the drink out of the Jew Fro's hand.

"You don't," He answered simply.

"Well now you know why" she spat.

" If you two are done with your production of Wayland and Madame can we start?" Artie was getting exasperated.

"Pushy for a three year old" Ursula interjected as she sipped her latte.

"I'm 17 Ursula," he informed.

"Cloths beg to differ." She muttered. These two always did this. Artie and Ursula had been archenemies since they got on the newspaper in sixth grade. They would throw barbs at each other whenever they got the chance. When the meeting was over Artie wheeled himself to Tina's locker.

"You have your Ursula face." She said.

"I know I'm a guy and I can't punch her but can I wheel over her?" Tina laughed at this and they walked to glee.

"Mr. Parker is it true you ware lady's…"

" For the last time no! Now leave me be or I will give you detention." Ursula had followed Mr. Parker the English teacher down the hall with her bubble gum pink tape recorder outstretched before her. Not wanting to risk detention she stopped her harassment and went to her locker where Jacob was waiting for her.

"Foiled again Jacob I can never catch a frickin brake." Ursula scowled in defeat as she opened her locker.

"Its like no one wants to here juicy story's anymore. I had the chance last year to make it big when Coach Sylvester brought back the Muckraker but she said I was to much of a loose canon."

"You also wrote a story about her being Satan's mistress." Jacob added.

"Like I'm the only one who believes that" Ursula defended. They started walking down the hall and Jacob was righting down notes for his "boss". Ursula however stopped talking suddenly when she peered into the choir room. Artie was seeing a song with Puck at the Guitar. She was impressed with his abilities and when she looked at the guy in the wheelchair a feeling overwhelmed her a feeling she had never had before.

"You okay Ms McAlister?" Jacob asked. Ursula broke out of her trance and looked at Jacob

'Yes I'm fine now where was I? Oh yes." She resumed her activates as nothing happened and walked down the hall. When Artie finished the song in the last moments of Ursula being their he felt something and turned around to look at the vacant doorway,

"Something wrong Artie?" Rachel asked.

"No everything's fine." Artie brushed the feeling aside.

To be continued.


	2. Revenge

Ursula wanted to forget what happened the other day. Artie was her annoying nemesis. Her annoying hansom nemesis. Her incredibly talented hansom…HOLY CRAP WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? Ursula trolled the Hallways looking for a teacher she believed was keeping illegal chimps in his basement. She turned the corner the same time another person was and then tripped and fell. She thought she was going to hit her face on the tiles but found herself over someone's lap.

"You ok?" A startled voice asked. Ursula turned over and to her horror she was sitting on Arties lap. He realized who it was and he had a heavy desire to push her off but he didn't want detention.

"Could you signal the next time your making a turn?" Ursula growled.

"I'm in a wheel chair not a minivan!" Artie shot back. The gossip girl got off him and walked off in a huff. That pain in the ass chick pissed Artie off. That hot pain in the ass chick. That hot pain in the ass chick with sexy lips…CRAP WHAT WAS HE THINKING? She's Ursula McAllister the Joker to his Batman. If the Joker had big boobs and a nice ass…WHAT THE HELL? Artie went to the nurse's office to lie down.

The next day Ursula was at her locker. Jacob had retrieved her coffee.

"Jacob I have a question for you." But before Ursula could ask it Jacob chimed

"Yes there is sexual tension between you and Artie Abrams." There was an awkward pause.

"I knew he had a crush on me!" Ursula laughed as she ignored the whole sexual tension between both of them thing. Jacob was confused but he didn't want to correct his employer.

"Well I better go help him with one of his tiny perverted needs. I should of known he couldn't resist me." Ursula walked down the hall to Arties locker where he was finishing putting away books.

"Ok Abrams I know how you feel about me." She said. Artie looked totally confused.

"Excuse me?"

"Ever since weave met you've been attracted to my wit, charm and good looks and just to give you something to tell the pimple poppers in the video club about Ill let you cop a feel." She leaned closer to the wheelchair boy.

"Thanks…but ill pass." Artie responded. Ursula gave an insulted glare stood straight up and said angrily

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not into you or your…boobs" Artie replied. Ursula's mouth dropped open.

"My boobs are whimsical pillows of delight! Everyone loves my boobs even Brittney loves my boobs!" She protested

"Brittany loves everyone's boobs including men's." Artie informed.

"Well it meant something to me." She bellowed then stormed off.

Later that day there was a newspaper meeting and Ursula and Artie where on edge. Artie suggested to the group they should do a spread on the Drama clubs new production. Ursula fake coughed into her hand

"Stupid ". He then suggested they write an article about the school budget

"Terrible" Ursula coughed. Artie was going to give his last idea but heard Ursula starting her third fake cough.

"I didn't even say anything yet." He hissed.

"It would of sucked anyway!" she shot back. Everyone in the room groaned. The club meeting ended. As they always did Ursula and Artie went to her locker

"Jacob I have a deliciously evil idea. Something that will utterly destroy Artie Abrams." She cackled

"What's that?" Jacob asked.

Glee club was about to start but not before Ursula entered the room.

"What the hell is the Gossip goon doing here?" Santana looked utterly annoyed. The next sentence said filled Artie with dread.

"I want to join Glee club." Ursula said smiling, her eyes starring into Arties.

To be continued.


	3. Champion

"Mr. Schue you cant let that psycho in!" Kurt hissed.

"Calm down Kurt Ursula has the write to audition for the club." Though Will hated to say it. He too had caught The Gossip girls journalistic eye.

"I mean you know harm Artie raves about you guys so much I thought Id give it a whirl." Ursula explained.

"You wrote that I was the offspring of big foot and the jolly green giant." Finn said.

"You wrote that I was the inspiration for the creatures in the remake of don't be afraid of the dark." Rachel added.

"And to top it all you told people I was a warlock." Blaine said lastly.

"First off, Finn wearing green doesn't help your case second Rachel you scurry like a silver fish in bright light and don't give me the sensitive cornea crap and lastly Blaine cup cake nothing but the Dark Arts can make hair look like." Ursula's explained.

"I do have sensitive corneas." Muttered Rachel.

"The point is you've written outlandish stories about all of us." Quinn spoke for the group.

"They weren't so bad." Ursula tried to appease.

"You wrote that I had a sex change." Sugar chimed.

"Have you seen your hips?" The gossip girl countered. Sugar got up immediately wanting to slug the girl before her but Rory and Sam managed to calm her down.

"Why don't you sing something Ursula?" Will spoke up wanting to diffuse the tension.

Ursula sang champion by RuPaul. Everyone had to admit she had a set of pipes. They all clapped.

"Your in happy to have you." Will said sincerely. Later When Ursula was getting out her homework from her locker Artie rolled up to her.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"What do you mean?" Ursula asked coyly.

"Don't play games McAlister you just joined Glee club to bite me in the ass."

"Artie accusations like that are awful… and very true." She patted her new teammate on the cheek and walked off. Tina had seen the exchange and walked over to Artie.

"She's a character." Tina smiled.

"Of course my arch enemy had to be in another club I like." Artie was exasperated.

"At least she won't write about us any more," he added. As they walked down the hall Tina said something that surprised Artie.

"You know Artie, me and Mike were talking and we noticed that she's written about all of us in New Directions…except you."

To be continued.


	4. confronting love

Artie couldn't believe it. Did he really feel insulted that Ursula never wrote anything about him? He had looked through the Newspaper archives and found nothing on him.

"What the hell?" this pist him off to the extreme. Ursula was in the journalism room eating a sandwich while going over a ruff draft of her latest story

**"Roz Washington, Real House wives what's the connection?"**

** "**I want to talk to you!" Artie said angrily.

"Joy" Ursula had a somber sarcastic tone.

"You treat me like crap every time were together but you exclude me from your writing. What am I not good enough?"

"Artie if your done with your pms could you leave I'm working." Ursula was unfazed.

"You're a bitch," he said suddenly. This got the girls attention.

"Mined repeating that wheels?" she hissed.

"Did I stutter?" Artie got close to her face.

"Sorry, but little nerds who get dumped by dumb blonde Cheerios and turned down by obnoxious rich girls aren't news they're just embarrassing." They stared at each other menacingly and before they knew it their lips crashed together. Both Artie and Ursula felt fire works. The wall that separated them and been destroyed and now passion was overwhelming them. They took a break panting furiously.

"Uh… I got to go"

"Me to" Both of them ran out of the room from separate doorways. It finally happened. Artie wheeled himself over to Tina in the lunch room who was waiting for Mike.

"Artie you look like you've seen a ghost?" she was worried.

"I'm in love with Ursula McAlister," he breathed.

**To be continued**


End file.
